Words of wisdom....

I had an afternoon visit from my M-I-L yesterday, our conversations usually run the gamut from bizarre to mildly annoying but yesterday was a more thought provoking day. She said she had been thinking about the fact that she might not be here to see her youngest grandchildren graduate from High School (she’s only 65 and the youngest will graduate in 13 years so I think she’s being a little premature but....anyway)

She told me she was trying to convince my F-I-L to put aside about $200 each so that as the grandkids graduate they can have a post mortem gift from Grandma and Grandpa.. It really is a nice gesture but it sure made me think about how much I miss all my Grandma’s and Grandpa’s and $200 wouldn’t even come close to covering it for me......money just isn’t the same as having their wisdom, you know? I wonder if I would have felt that way when I was 18? Would I rather have a letter from them telling me how proud they are of me and giving me some advice gleaned from their vast storehouse of experience.....or the two hundred bucks?......Ok, you’re right....I guess most teenagers, myself included, would rather have the money but SOMEDAY they’ll be sitting there wishing they could talk to grandma and grandpa about something.

I am lucky to have LOTS and LOTS of letters that my grandma wrote to me over the years, I saved most of them and she saved (and I now have) the letters I wrote to her. She gave me marital advice and parenting advice, recipes, tips on gardening and saving money, her thoughts of me (that I was oh so special) and my family, words of wisdom regarding politics, religion, books, work, vacations, parents, clothing, television shows and a million and one other things. I wouldn’t trade those letters now for any amount of money....really. She wrote one letter telling me all about how she fell in love with, and eventually married my Grandpa. She told me that nothing in the world can make up for being married to someone you can’t respect, look to for support, and consider your very best friend.


I have one letter she wrote after my grandpa died. She had been alone just a couple of months and she told me how very lonely she was, she said she just wished she had told him more often how much she loved him (and I know she told him frequently). She said that often she would wake up in the morning and if she laid very still and didn’t open her eyes she could feel him lying beside her in bed with his arms around her (then in her typical tongue-in-cheek fashion she wrote that on those days she didn’t get much done around the house.)



She told me once about her mother "coming to see her" several years after she passed away. Most people would think she was delusional but you’d have to know my grandma ....she was very practical and NEVER delusional. She said she had been so worried about many things, she was having a difficult time sleeping for several nights, she said she kept wishing she could call her mom and talk to her...that night she said she woke to see Great Grandma standing by the bed, when Grandma looked at her she knelt by the edge of the bed, put her hand on grandma’s head and told her not to worry anymore, that everything would be fine, that was the end of her worrying.

What a treasure it is to read her letters now. She kept a journal but I find it superficial for the most part. She wrote the daily happenings, perhaps what she bought at the store or what she wanted to buy at the store (she was a great shopper! ..... like me!), where they went for the weekend etc., but it is in her letters to me that she bares her soul and records memories and lessons that are invaluable to me now. I can’t imagine how I would feel without them I know I wouldn't remember even one tenth of what she wrote to me.

This is kind of a sad and melancholy blog today, sorry for that (tomorrow I'll be my silly self I'm sure) but just let it remind you how important the things you leave behind can be.....don’t let it just be the sofa, the china cupboard and two hundred dollars. Bless you all today.