Coming soon .... to a Wal-Mart near you!

WELL! It was certainly a fun-filled and eventful day yesterday! I think I may have mentioned that I’d be back to my "real, somewhat scattered, distracted, and generally silly" self soon...well I’m back, it happened,...... unfortunately it happened in Wal-Mart.

I don’t know if I’ll be able to shop there for awhile (I’m going to have to find a new source for $3.50/box Chocolate Caramel Crunch Zone Bars).

I was going down the aisle looking for something (actually I had forgotten what I went there for and I already had the Zone bars) so I was a little pre-occupied anyway and my cell phone rang "Home Business May I Help You" I said in my most professional (trying to sound like I’m NOT shopping in Wal-Mart and having my calls forwarded) voice. "Mrs. Bright One, this is the Jr. High calling, Daughter #3 is sick, we have her resting but she thinks she might throw up" (translation, you had better leave Wal-Mart RIGHT NOW and get here before we have something nasty for you to clean up when you arrive). I assured them I’d ditch my cart and be there in 20 minutes (okay, so I didn’t actually TELL them I’d be ditching the cart but it was implied).

I was clear at the back of the store and quite frankly I had to go to the bathroom .....such a dilemma.....rush to school and risk "two unfortunate accidents" or take 3 seconds (or so) to go to the bathroom. Easy decision.

I never use the restrooms at the back of the store but I know they’re there (at my age you pretty much know the location of all bathrooms in all major shopping areas of the city). Anyway I dashed in.... "DRAT, only two stalls and both full!" (I know because I can see feet, ‘Boy those are big feet’, in both) "H......o......l....d O.....n, .......have they remodeled?"
"OH MY GOSH ARE THOSE URINALS?????!!!!!"

I’m not totally sure what and where security cameras record in Wal-Mart but IF they saw me, it couldn’t have been more than a BLUR from one bathroom to the other......my face was so hot I had to splash cold water on it before I could exit the bathroom (the WOMEN’s bathroom). I hated to leave too quickly in case I might run into "feet" I’d recognize but I decided to take off my coat, put on my sunglasses (simple, yet effective, disguise), and get the heck out of there before I could think any more about it. (I'll bet I have nightmares about this one!)

I never did go to the bathroom.

Daughter #3 recovered with a dose of Ibuprofen, a heating pad, and some couch time. Tonight we attended her Academic Awards Program...I’m proud of her.....she seems so much more like her dad than like me, not a smidgen of scatterbrain in her, at least none that has shown up as yet.....(quite possibly I carry the only recessive gene in the family pool).