Why is it that today, the day I need to prepare a funeral salad (I guess more properly put it would be "a salad for a funeral dinner" but you know what I mean) the quality control people at the rotini factory have let me down?
I've fixed pasta salad dozens of times....pretty little curls of artificially colored, high carb, mostly durum wheat, mixed with various good for you cruciferous (and non) veggies. How come this morning when I cooked the pasta and poured it out to drain I find not JUST the little curly pasta but macaroni?
I'm not a perfectionist, I admit it, I would gladly have left the little invaders in there except that macaroni, as every good cook knows, does not cook as fast as rotini. SO the morning of a funeral I'm reduced to factory worker status as I spend 20 minutes fishing out every single little elbow shaped noodle from about 30 pounds of cooked rotini. Very tedious, time-consuming work....which leaves me with only a moment to post a quick blog to pose some other unanswered questions.
Why do hot dogs come in packs of 10 and hot dog buns in packs of 8?
Why do people say "The alarm just went off" when really it just came on?
What is the point in saying "may I ask" and then follow it up with a question?
When a pack of gum says that each piece is 10 calories, is that amount just chewing the gum, or just for swallowing it?
How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?
When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?
Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are all on the outside?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free?
If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?
Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
What disease did "cured" ham have before it was .... well ......"cured"?
What happens when you say “hi” to your friend on an airplane and his name is Jack?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
AND what I really Want to Know.....
Why do they call the small candy bars the "fun sizes"? Wouldn't be more fun to eat a big one? (Trust me it is!)
Sure Love Ya!
5 comments:
Those are hilarious.
My favortie imponderable: Why do people say "it was in the last place I looked" when they find something. Were they really going to keep looking in places after they'd found the thing. It will always be in the "last place."
And why are Wendy's hamburgers square when the buns are round? It freaks me out.
You are too funny! Now I will be wandering around listlessly all day trying to figure those things out.
I'm sorry that you've lost your dear friend. I hope the funeral is comforting - a real celebration of a life well lived.
Mom, You crack me up. The best part is that I actually have answers to all of those questions. Call me sometime and I will tell you about it. And really, the funniest part is that you had to pick through the rotini for the macaroni :) Best mental image today!
I posted!
Here's a couple more:
Why do say we're getting ON the plane when we're really getting IN?
Why do they call them JUMBO SHRIMP?
Why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?
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