Okay, I do appreciate most (but certainly not ALL) of the differences between men and women. For instance, I really like the fact that HH seems inately adept at fixing all manner of broken objects, killing really ugly bugs without flinching, diagnosing the cause of the "noise" coming from the front of the car or the back of the washing machine, and generally being extremely handy for just about any of my many (and varied) needs.
However, I DO not appreciate that cruel twist of nature that causes HH to drop 14 pounds in 9 days eating "sensibly" while I lose a mere 4. I also do not appreciate the fact that although I exercise religiously 45 minutes to one hour EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE except Sunday (and have for over 4 years now) I can eat no more than 1000 calories a day (950 of which must be undigestible fiber) without gaining weight.
Several years ago I lost a whopping 48 pounds over the course of 6 months (April to October) .... how did I do it you ask? Well, frankly after not losing one single pound for the first two weeks eating 1200 calories a day, I became eating challenged and dropped my calorie intake to 300 calories a day. That's right....an eating disorder. I didnt' think it was an eating disorder, I simply skipped breakfast and lunch and ate a HUGE salad with hard boiled egg and cheese on top with vinegar for dressing for dinner(every single night), that's pretty normal isnt it?
Okay, of course it isn't, even writing it down makes it sound wierd and sick and I can't imagine what I was thinking.....it just became habit and I was so desperate to lose weight. At the same time I exercised 30 minutes every morning, 30 minutes at lunch, and one hour in the evenings if I had time.
Now according to all the medical journals I should have lost about ONE HUNDRED and forty eight pounds, not just forty eight, but nevertheless I was happy with those forty eight. I am five foot four inches tall and at the time had actually gotten to a gigantic 174 pounds before dropping down to 126 (I think some stupid insurance chart even says my "ideal" weight is 116!!!!!).
I have never put all of the weight back on which I am happy about and proud of, but I have regained about 24 of those original 48 which is really really not fun. I hate my entire life to be centered around food, and yet it sometimes seems that just that way. I just don't think this is what Heavenly Father wants for me and yet, here I am, in competition with dear HH who is trying to just be healthy (high cholesterol and high blood sugar) while I only care about being thin (low blood pressure, normal blood sugar, normal cholesterol levels, and yes normal thyroid function.....my body is just VERY VERY efficient at using those calories!)
HH and I had a conversation this morning about my inability to be happy about his weight loss.....it makes me sad that I can't get excited about it but I'm not that "big"hearted......(forgive me, I'm trying).
Anyway, if the time ever comes that anyone asks my opinion I'm going to suggest that the next humans that are created should at least be imbued with the same metabolism!!!
Okay, I'm so over it! Sure love ya....: )
2 comments:
Can I just say that I feel your pain! But keep up the good work--eating right and exerising! You look great! P.S. I tagged you, so come see!
I'm with you. I've been trying to lose this weight for about 4 years now and not having great success. But now that it's a matter of heath and not just wardrobe & looks it seems to be a little easier. How come it used to be so much simpler when we were younger? I used to just talk about losing weight and off it came. If that wer true today, I'd be the thinnest person you know!
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