Exactly what are you comfortable with?

I'm just wondering.......does it concern anyone that ground cinnamon is OK if it has fewer than 400 insect fragments and fewer than 11 or more rodent hairs per 50 grams? What about cornmeal? The FDA (and I always trusted them!) says avoid it if it has more than one rodent excreta fragment (huh? I think that's rat poop!) per 50 grams. (Uh,..... well okay if you really think that would be a problem .......duh!)

You may be wondering what brought on this question.....you weren't? Too bad because the basis of my blog begins here......

Way back when HH became the wonderful cook that he is today (that would be about two months ago when he graduated from cooking fried spam and potatoes to whatever the American Heart Association included in their free on-line recipe book). Anyway, I digress......in one of his lates epicurian adventures he prepared for us a delectable dish called Lemon Barbequed Chicken.

I might just add here that the wonderful thing about new cooks is that they follow the recipe to the letter, right down to actually TOASTING SESAME SEEDS! (This is the point in any recipe when I, in my great wisdom borne from years of dedicated cookery, decide that they've got to be kidding if they think I'm going to spend "approximately 10-15 minutes toasting the sesame seeds over a low flame while stirring constantly") In a word, or two, it was absolutely delicious! And worth every minute he spent toasting those seeds.....thanks honey!

The next morning however, I opened the drawer containing my measuring cups to find he had evidently been a little, shall we say......cavalier, with the sesame seeds, as there were two "well toasted" ones in the bottom of my measuring cup. I washed them out and decided to be a good wife and not nag him about two little sesame seeds.....I mean really, I'm not THAT picky!

Then my life, and everything I know and hold dear, was turned upside down, inside out and backwards with a few little words from HH.........."Helen, can you come and look at this?" Which was followed by my screams when I beheld within my favorite mixing bowl 5 or 6 small little.....toasted sesame seeds? .........

No, I think not........those are,..... those are,..... those aren't ....gulp.....mouse poTTY ARE THEY!?!?! To answer my own question, yes, they most definitely were and I don't give a(excuse my language) rat's gray hair what the good old FDA has to say about the maximum allowable number of

.........WHATEVER........allowed in any one dish I, Bright One, will accept NONE! Not one, not a half of one, not even a small rodent SIZED ONE!!!!!!

Yesterday was spent emptying every last cupboard in my kitchen, washing every dish, every appliance, every towel, washcloth, sponge and surface. Disinfecting, reapplying shelf paper, tossing all non-sealed packages, and just about everything else you can think of short of sanding and refinishing the cabinets.

I went to bed exhausted only to wake at 12:30, 2:10, 3:05 and finally just giving up and getting up at 3:30 to check the mousetraps and every cupboard for evidence of .....well, you know what.

I know, you're probably saying...."Hey, doesn't she have a cat?".....Well, technically yes I have a cat, but in any practical sense relating to the actual benefits of cat ownership (chief among them being rodent control), NO!

This is a cat who will not eat anything, I mean anything except

1. Dry Cat Food (Purina only), and
2. Peel and eat shrimp (peeled of course)

The only way this cat is going to take care of any rodent problem is if I catch each mouse and tie a shrimp to it's back!!! (Sorry if I sound a wee bit sarcastic!)

We managed to catch one mouse overnight......is that the one, THE ONLY one? I'd like to think so but how will I ever know? I'm thinking there are sleepless nights ahead for me...........oh, and no more toasted sesame seeds on my food thank you!