Scrambled thoughts....sleepless nights

Great idea....getting up later....not pushing myself to go out an exercise and the crack of dawn because there was no reason to....HA! It only worked for one day. The last three days I've been wide awake at 5:00 a.m., I've tried, really I have, to stay in bed but it's no use. I can fall asleep only to wake up minutes later to look at the clock again. Today I gave up and just got up! (I'm still not going out to the garage until later because it's only 16 degrees out there this morning and there's nothing worse than an old woman covered in goosebumps....why do they call them that anyway?......trying to get an hour of exercise while wearing gloves, ski mask, and down parka!)

Anyway, I'm still on the look out for great ideas to change up my rather dull winter existence. After having thought about it I think it's the withdrawal after living in Florida for three weeks with Nutella and being able to enjoy the outdoors. To think I actually used to believe I'd like living in Alaska because the winter clothing was so much less revealing!

We're headed to the Home Show today to check out all the latest things and see what the Model home looks like. We're certainly not in the market for a new home (I'll die here in my little log cabin thank you very much) but I can always find things I'd like to have and we're getting ready to remodel the downstairs bath.....maybe we'll win a free whirlpool tub! At the very least I'll get to leave the house and not freeze to death....honestly cabin fever in January is the worst!

I got lots of suggestions about things to do to keep from being bored and I've decided to take a Yoga class. I took one once a few years ago with "Tiny"....it was a lot harder than I imagined but it was fun and gave me something new to try, I've just about talked D3 into being my partner this time.

I considered taking piano lessons....I wonder if not being able to read music would be a problem? I also need to get a LOT of geneology done. HH and I are heading to Phoenix for a week the middle of February and while he's in meetings I could go to the temple and get a lot of work done.....so far I haven't succeeded in getting any of my files successfully transferred to the Ward Family History Library to get them ready, I always just give up but a talk in Church yesterday left me inspired and feeling somewhat guilty for my lack of effort so I'm determined to try again.

I'm also struggling with a dilemma regarding the payment of an allowance to D3. She's 14 and the only child still at home. We pay her a quarterly salary .... through our business....to answer the phones when she's home (and take legible messages), handle our mass mailings and file when I need her to. I watched a program the other day that said every child should have an allowance, along with the allowance should be a list of chores that the child should accomplish in order to "earn" the allowance, and a "matching" system for money saved. This teaches them a work ethic, how to budget money from week to week, and that money saved is money earned.

It sounds so great but when HH and I sit down to come up with a list of chores it becomes more than complicated for me. When the other girls were at home I worked all day......outside the home....coming up with a list of chores for them to do every day was not only easy it was necessary. Now however, I find myself almost physically ill thinking of assigning her chores to do after school that I have more than ample time to do myself. On top of that I (this is really sick) actually enjoy things like doing laundry, mopping floors, cleaning out cupboards, etc. I don't know if this is because I never had time to do it before, or because it's so instantly gratifying (this really IS sick). Anyway, I don't have any problem changing D3 from a "salaried employee" to an allowanced teen except for the chore thing. I know I'll feel guilty watching her do the laundry, for instance, when I know I've had all day to do it myself....AND I'll probably resent the fact that I couldn't do it myself......

Lots of pondering ahead I'm afraid....

It's the middle of winter, and I must be getting old...

I reached an epiphany yesterday when I felt tired all day long. It occurred to me that I get up every morning at 5:45, exercise for an hour, then try to fill a very long day with meaningful activities....sometimes I succeed, most times I don't.

I'm not sure if it's the winter.....no gardening, mowing, raking, sweeping porches, organizing the barn, etc.; or if it's my age and I just have little to do every day but I find myself bored, unable to find anything to fill my time. I'm sure I could find something to do but honestly, it seems to take more effort than I have.

SO....I remembered my Grandma telling me once not to call her before 8:00 in the morning. I was surprised and asked her why (she had always been an early riser....5:00-6:00 a.m.) she told me she had suddenly realized that she had been retired for over 15 years ... there was NO reason she should be getting up so early.

Well, today I didn't set my alarm for 5:45, I got up only when I hear D3 hit the snooze alarm for the third time. I didn't go right out to exercise....I can do that after I put her on the bus. I used the hour to make her lunch (usually done in a rush 10 minutes before she gets on the bus after I take the fastest shower possible), take out the trash (also done in a rush every Wednesday morning), type a little (my blog has been sorely neglected), and read my scriptures (usually done whenever.....but my favorite time is always before I get too far into the day).

Now I can exercise at my liesure, and when I get done I can have breakfast ..... or not....I don't need it, I'm trying to lose weight. Skipping breakfast (I know....it's a sin) is the easiest way for me to cut calories....I don't enjoy it that much and if I don't get done exercising till 9:00 or so then it's too close to lunch time anyway.....

Maybe, just maybe, the 8 hours of sleep will make me feel a little more energized during my day. I hope my outlook will be a little brighter and I'll have more of a spring in my step. Frankly life right now feels a little dull and boring, I need to extend myself somehow, maybe I'll take up karate! (Okay, maybe not....)

Becoming a grandma takes time...

Well, actually, becoming a grandma is no excuse for being gone for so long but it just seemed that all my thoughts were consumed with the welfare of "nutella" and the upcoming birth of her first baby.

She did a great job producing one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen!

I've been lucky enough to be able to be here with her for the past week and a half, I go home next Tuesday and I know I will be so sad : (

I'm fine tuning my Grandma muscles though and getting prepared for years of spoiling! Nutella's sweet little girl was named after my Grandma who I loved so MUCH! If she lives up to her name she's going to be wonderful!

The other nice thing about being here for the baby is I get to be out of Indiana which is wet and cold......living here in Florida is great! I need to find a way to buy a winter home here, it is so nice to look out and see the sun every day and have leaves on the trees and flowers blooming! In January!!! Having lived in Wyoming much of my life the Florida climate is so nice!

We had a funny moment the other night when Nutella was feeding "bean" (a nickname that has stuck).....we'd been trying various techniques to get her to sleep longer and decided to try the "tight swaddle" that they do in the hospital. Nutella fed her, got her to sleep and carefully wrapped her up in the tightest, best produced swaddle ever done without a nurse.....we were so proud! After tiptoeing carefully to the crib she laid bean down and slowly, every so slowly, stood up......almost

It was about this point that she realized she had "swaddled" the tie to her robe inside the baby's blanket......oh, how we needed that laugh! A few nights of little sleep made us somewhat punchy but the laugh was completely rejuvenating.....the hardest part was giggling quietly enough to not wake the sleeping, perfectly swaddled, baby!

Thank Heaven for Little Girls!