Happy Birthday Baby!

You may have heard that today is Queen Elizabeth's Birthday........frankly, although she seems perfectly charming there's someone else I love more...... today is Daughter #2's birthday!!

Happy Birthday Hannah!!!!

(Ok, I know it's scary and freaky to use someone's real name in a blog but it's her birthday and nothing else will do!)

This blog's for you.......

You were born on a TUESDAY! That mean's you're full of grace.......(I think they mean like gracious.....not necessarily graceful......) as in the little poem Monday's Child is fair of face, Tuesday's Child is full of grace........you know the one.

Anyway, being the gracious girl you are, you blessed our home with your presence only 3 weeks AFTER your due date (needless to say I was getting a little uncomfortable). You weighed a whopping 8 pounds 15 1/2 ounces and showed up just moments after they shooed your dad out of the room to don his hospital garb.......he missed the whole thing!

You grew into the tiniest child ever. Once you reached your first birthday you were consistently, and maddeningly, off the bottom of the height/weight charts. I remember nights at the dinner table crying my eyes out because you refused to eat. I would try everything, even force feeding you, and trying every trick in the book to make you NORMAL! Finally I gave up and let you just be you and of course, in spite of all the doctor's warnings, you grew up healthy, happy and not malnourished.

The President on the day you were born was Ronald Reagan (gosh that doesn't seem that long ago to me). Bread cost FIFTY CENTS a loaf!!!!, and check these out......a NICE new car $13,000; stamps were 22 cents, minimum wage was $3.35 an hour and GAS WAS NINETY-SIX CENTS A GALLON!!!!!!!

You share your birthday (not birthyear!) with, not only Her Majesty Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor II, but also that icon Tony Danza!!!

We were watching shows like Family Ties, The Cosby Show, Hill Street Blues, Miami Vice, and Moonlighting (yup that's Bruce Willis getting his start!!!!), most of which you probably have no idea what the heck they are.

Hot toys that year were Jenga, Pez WITH FEET, Glitter and Gold Jem (you had one of those remember?) , and Pictionary.

Great music? You bet.....La Bamba by Los Lobos, Faith by George Michael, Livin' on a Prayer by Bon Jovi, and With or Without you by U2.

Best Movie Oscar ... The Last Emperor; Best Actress: Cher in Moonstruck; Best Actor: Michael Douglas in Wall Street.

Biggest headline of the day: HANNAH born in (well you know where!)



Anyway YOU WERE THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED THAT DAY as far as I'm concerned.

Love you Bunches!!!

We're still planting those trees....(Sorry I got you confused Grammy....I'm not done with the season.......rather , just starting it....bummer!), we will have planted almost eighty three THOUSAND trees by the time we're done .... about a month from now. When I put it in writing like that, I want to cry! We can usually plant between three and four thousand a day but of course it's all dependent upon equipment and weather, two things we have little control over (sometimes I think we have more control over the weather than the equipment!)

ANYWAY....how boring.....the last thing I want to talk about is WORK! The thing I really want to talk about is food.....

There's been a change in life around here. HH was screened for diabetes recently (just routine, it runs in his family) and although he's very active, not overweight, and healthy as can be ....at least on the surface....the doctor says he needs to lower his cholesterol. Since we've already been trying to modify our diets to reduce impact on blood sugar, this will be a double challenge .....

So far I've got it narrowed down to what we can't eat:

Red Meat
Butter, Margarine, Shortening
Cheese
Sugar, Honey, Maple Syrup, High Fructose Corn Syrup White Flour, White Potatoes, White Bread
Whole Milk
Cookies
Cakes
Eggs
Ice Cream
Whipped Cream, Sour Cream, Cream Cheese
Soda
Artificial Coloring
Processed Foods
Smoked Foods
Fast Foods
Yummy Foods
Cinnabons!



And what we can eat:


Fish but only if we catch them ourselves in pure water under humane conditions (I'm not sure how we're going to kill them..............).

Vegetables if fresh, grown on a Certified Organic farm where the workers are not illegal aliens, and consumed raw within 42 seconds of detachment from the mother plant.

Fruits that aren't too high on the GI index (still have to figure that one out)

Grains if stored in a warehouse certified pesticide free (does that include rodents?) and shipped in refrigerated boxcars directly to an air conditioned facility ... apparently grains lose their vitamins above a certain temperature (whew......the pressure for those FARMERS!)

Fat Free Organic Milk but ONLY that sold in cardboard cartons.
AND FOR DESSERT!!!!!???????

Knox Gelatin (no artificial flavors, colors or preservatives....just good old boiled down RANGE FED cows hooves!) and Water ...not flavored but filtered, distilled, and certified pure to 99.999999997%


I've got a feeling I'm going to BE THIN!!!!!! : )



P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAUGHTER NUMBER 2! I'll have a special post just for you tomorrow.......... YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!!

Sure Love ya!

Six Wierd Things.....

Blogging has been put on the back burner as we've started our "season" here .... we've planted over 6,000 trees in the past few days and to tell the truth I'm worn out by the time I get home.

I'm taking my camera with me tomorrow so I can put some pictures on ......for your viewing pleasure ; ) Nutella close your eyes! (It'll bring back bad memories!)

In the meantime can I borrow the meme I've read on several of your blogs?

Six wierd things about me!

1. I could always tell my right hand from my left because my right pinkie has a "mole" in the fingernail! (Once I got married I could use the ring thing .........what do you mean you never get right an left mixed up? Really?)

2. I can wiggle my ears (but I don't because it freaks out my kids) : )

3. My favorite meal is my mom's "meal in a hurry" ...... she'd tear up homemade white bread put a gob of shredded cheddar on top then pour really hot milk over it all till the cheese melted.....YUMMY! (Really I like it best with hot powdered milk cause that's how mom made it, but that's TOO wierd!)

4. I actually LIKE mowing the lawn.

5. I have a "lucky hair" (2nd cousin to a wild hair) ..... it's on my right wrist, just a single blonde hair that grows to AMAZING lengths! My sister in law pulled it out once and I thought I'd die....it hurt!

6. I've never been out of the country except to Mexico.....and once they almost didn't let me back into the country.....I actually had to get a lawyer involved to get back home (I guess they liked me and just wanted to keep me!) I had to sit in the border compound all day while attorneys and judges discussed the validity of my birth certificate........I kept thinking of all the stories I'd heard about Mexican prisons.....it was scary!

Sure Love ya!

Life is HARD!

A conversation with Daughter #3 yesterday brought back some good memories. She was explaining how really "wierd" it was that parents told their kids big lies (more like......fibs...... really) like the one about the Easter Bunny. "How, exactly, do parents think that helps their kids?" "Well.......(this required some fast thinking on my part), it's just to help their imagination develop....really...um....you know how important THAT is....ummmm, and it's a fun story .....don't you think?" (she rolls her eyes....)

OKAY, OKAY, so it's not alright to deceive kids about a silly thing that detracts from the real meaning of Easter. "But you did like having "special powers" now didn't you?!"

When the Daughter #1 was small we had a car, ......of sorts......that was one of those "compact" cars. Everything was within easy reach, you could shift gears turn on the wipers, and signal without moving more than an inch or two, this was WAY before the day of buttons on the steering wheel....but even better than that was being able to turn on the interior lights without taking your hands off the wheel.....(just streeeeeetch out your ring finger and push the button!). This provided us with a little family fun.

We'd say to Daugher #1, "Boy it's getting dark and I can't see where the pedals are, can you turn on the light sweetie?" at which time she'd say in her MOST magical voice "BIBBITY BOBBITY BOO" and presto!, the overhead light would come on. She would continue doing whatever she was doing as though she hadn't just "made magic" without trying.
It worked so well that when Daughter #2 came along we taught her to use "magic" too, the problem came when Daughter #3 got to about the age of 5.1 and we bought a car with an interior light switch that was not only farther than a pinkie stretch, but ALSO made a clicking noise (DARN!....hadn't considered that when we were haggling for price).

After the first "BIBBITY BOBBITY BOO" (and forthcoming mad scramble to distract her while we looked for the button......

"Say it clearer honey, say it louder sweetheart....") she looked at us with a funny look on her face and said "Is that DADDY doing it?"

"Why.....um.....no honey, why would you say that?"

"Because I heard a click, and Daddy was reaching for something....(extremely short pause)....'bibbitybobbityboo!"

A very surprised and very NOT READY daddy had to quickly turn off the light while coughing to cover the "click". Daughter number #3 was a little too smart for her own good....she lost her "powers" that night ......


"Mommy why can't I turn on the light anymore?"
"Because you're five"
"I was five last week!"
"I don't think the people in charge of magical powers remembered till today"
"I hate growing up! Life is going to be hard!"

Where's the money ...........

Well it's been a week since I began my "shopping" hiatus. It's been pretty darn successful (although I've had a few symptoms of shopping withdrawal..............twitch? .......what twitch?) You may remember that I thought I couldn't give up shopping for a year, but decided instead to experiment for three months and see what kind of fortune I could amass. I know you're dying to know how it's going.......Well, here's my report, I've listed things I resisted buying and the amount saved with a grand total at the end......hey, this is only a week!

ITEM RESISTED Amount SAVED!

1 snack at the gas station (on top of my $47 in gas) $1.00

1 extra bottle of pop (already had one in the morning) $1.25

Pair of jeans on sale for $11.00 (down from
$27 hear my cry as I walk away......waaaaaaaa ) $11.00

Beautiful new stainless steel pot to match my new
frying pan $29.00

1 snack at the grocery store (DIFFERENT day) $.89

1 bottle of pop (didn't need it, can drink water..yuk!) $1.22

1 newspaper (temped by headlines but can read it
on the internet) $.50

Cute shirt on sale 2 for $12.00 $12.00

TOTAL SAVED THIS WEEK $56.86!!!!!!

WOW that was fun (I'm lying, it wasn't fun, I still miss shopping, but today we start tree planting so I won't have time to do it for over a month!)


Now on a side note, ... once a week when I report on my "shopping savings" I'll include something I've learned to do to save money ....these are either things I already do, or things I intend to do "someday" . Feel free to submit your own suggestions.


1. Peel apart a roll of two ply toilet paper and re-roll it into two rolls of one-ply toilet paper.

2. Rinse out used up ketchup bottles with 1/2 cup water....use that for spaghetti sauce at dinner.

3. Save money on laundry by turning your socks inside out and wearing them for a second day before washing them (also adds benefit of making those unsightly black heel marks disappear)

4. Instead of buying liquid soap save all your little splinters of bar soap then put them in a shallow dish overnight with one tablespoon of dish soap and warm water to cover. (This works well for washing hands but not as well for a "bad language deterrent").

5. To keep your pantyhose from "running" spray both legs entirely with hairspray and let dry. It's a bit uncomfortable at first but if you shave your legs before spraying it's not nearly as bad. (P.S. Watch out for chenille chairs!)


HaHaHaHa, ...... HaHaHaHA......HaHaHaHaHa.....I'm not THAT serious about saving money............feel free to try any you want though. : )


Sure Love Ya!

Ahhhhh those teenage crushes.....

I was listening to an A.M. radio show the other day and they had people call in and tell them what they had hanging on the walls of their bedrooms when they were teenagers. It was fun to remember those times....I laughed when some "old" guy (probably about my age) called and said he remembers having Ellie Mae Clampett on his wall ..... HaHaHa, pretty funny.

I remember having Bobby Sherman (Julie, Julie, Julie do ya love me? Julie, Julie, Julie do ya care....),










David Cassidy (remember The Partridge Family?),











Davy Jones and Peter Tork ("The Monkeys"....couldn’t ever decide which one I thought was cutest).





So sad when your old crushes
are only in black and white!

It’s funny now, I mean it wasn’t like I was ever going to meet them or anything, but I sure did have a lot of teenage daydreams about them.

It was pretty much agreed as people called in to the radio program that kids now don’t have the same kind of stuff on their walls....there were more cartoon characters than anything....like Spongebob Squarepants, Fairly Odd Parents, etc.

I asked HH who he had hanging on his wall but he didn’t give me a definitive answer...I know his reading material ran to things like "Fur, Fish and Game" and "Bowhunting" so maybe he had daydreams about big bucks with huge antlers....believe it or not we still have boxes and boxes of those magazines in our attic from when he was a teenager.

I’d like to say my daughters had ....oh, say Nephi, or Moroni on their wall but nope, they were regular kids....although they did all have a picture of the temple in their room. Mostly they plastered their walls with pics of their friends but Daughter #3 currently has Hilary Duff, Stacey Orrico, and the Disney Princesses up there too.

I remember once when I was about 12 or 13 my cousins and I got in a big argument about whether the Monkees or the Beatles were better singers....time has proven my cousins had better music sense than I did........they chose the Beatles, I invested my money in the 9 (count 'em NINE!) albums released by the Monkees (at least while I was still interested in them....1970 and prior).

There’s just no accounting for taste I guess, (AND I’ve always be champion of the underdog).

When is enough, enough?

WARNING!!!! THIS POST CONTAINS AN ATTITUDE THAT ISN'T UPLIFTING........I THEREFORE SEEK YOUR FORGIVENESS AND ADVICE RIGHT UP FRONT!!!
It's been a wierd day in my world and frankly I'm not liking it much. I've always been a people pleaser (sometimes to my own detriment), and a placater (don't know if that's even a word or not but hopefully you know what I mean). In trying to be, what I consider Christlike, I tend to say "it's okay" when it's not, turn the other cheek till my head is spinning, and say "yes, yes, yes" till I've forgotten completely how to say "NO!!!"

It's frustrating to say the least when you deal with people that are ill-tempered, defensive, mean, cruel, or just plain rude. Today I had a sales person snap at me for not being fast enough getting my money out (actually it wasn't a snap, it was a big "siiiiiiiiiiigggggghhhhh", with hands on hips. What did I do? I apologized for keeping her and felt terrible for inconveniencing her. After I left I wanted to go back in and say "I think apologizing was the nice thing to do but you certainly didn't deserve it, you need to improve your attitude", I wanted to tell her she shouldn't be working if she can't put a smile on her face (even when she doesn't want to) and try NOT to make customers feel like they are causing her an undo amount of work.

All the way home it bothered me. For the past week I've been dealing with people (some even family members.....NOT in my house mind you) who think it's okay to just be rude. I just don't feel like there's ever a good excuse for it. I know we all have our "days", but in those cases an apology goes a long way.

When it's within your own family it's even harder because there's that need to "smooth things over", I often say "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean ...." when someone has taken offense for no reason at all, and there was certainly none intended. Is it better to not offer the apology....?

I truly believe it's just as wrong to go around with a chip on your shoulder, constantly looking for, and taking offense, as it is to TRY to offend. It gets very hard to please people when there's no pleasing them if you know what I mean.

I'm exhausted from dealing with people who see only the negative side of things, who look for the bad in others and never see it in themselves, who are defensive and cold in their manner of speech and keep a mental list of shortcomings and faults. How on earth do you deal with them? Of course I'm not perfect.....and I truly don't expect others to be, but I realize that if I'm to get through life with my own personality intact I'm going to have to find better ways of dealing with situations.

My favorite are the people who "get their feelings hurt" often and on purpose....believe me I've seen it so often I feel like it's a disease. I can almost feel it when a conversation begins.......the other day I had an hour long conversation with someone in which I said "I'm sorry" at least 7 times and I have no idea what I was ap0logizing for........except that she seemed to be expecting it. It was the kind of phone call that leaves you drained and unhappy wishing you hadn't called in the first place.

What is the middle ground between being Christlike and being a doormat? How much is too much? When too much is too much, what do you do about it? Probably the question of a lifetime for me as I've never in my 50 years on earth learned to deal with it in any way that is productive.

Okay, I'm over it, "it's okay" (but words of advice are appreciated).

A pain in the "neck".....

Okay yesterday was a complete bust. I pulled ....something....and now I have a terrible pain just under my left shoulder blade. It's awful, not only because it hurts like the dickens, but because it's humiliating. I wish I had done it lifting weights (which I did yesterday morning), or even falling while rock climbing (which is totally made up), but NO, there I was drying my hair upside down and I stood up, gave my hair a little flip and went immediately to my knees with a pain so sharp I could swear I'd been shot.

I have no idea what happened but it hurts! AND it was so distracting yesterday that I couldn't concentrate long enough to get any blogging done....bummer. It's somewhat better today but I've been struggling all morning to upload pics to my blog and I'm finally giving up. Daughter #3 will go unrecognized by today's photo posts.

FHE last night included "seeking" after some geocaches. If you've never had this particular kind of fun you've just gotta try it. Besides being good fun, it's a great way to get outside together. The weather was just beautiful, in the high 60's, so it would have been hard to stay inside and have a lesson ... We had a great time (AND we had ice cream!)

The first stop on our treasure hunt was the Disneymania cache that we placed over a year ago, we had several comments on our site that the container was becoming worn so we went to replace it. There were "muggles" (those regular blokes who are generally clueless about geocaching) about so we had to be a little careful not to get "caught"....

Next we went back to one we have looked for three different times and never found. Even "nutella" and JD looked for it one year and couldn't find it. The clues given were a little misleading (they said it was in a bush and it was actually a Yucca plant....BIG difference!) ANYHOOOOO (hee hee, that reminds me of Barney Fife)....we found it and could cross this one off our list (there's nothing worse than seeking and not finding....very frustrating)

We ended up with two more, one we found and one we didn't....the last one was one someone hid on private property (against geocaching rules by the way) so we didn't look for it.

A month ago we wouldn't have been able to do this, it would have gotten dark too fast....I'm telling you I LOVE this daylight savings time stuff.....Indiana has long been a hotbed of Daylight Saving Time controversy. Historically, the state’s two western corners, which fall in the Central Time Zone, observed DST, while the remainder of the state, in the Eastern Time zone, followed year-round Standard Time (NO DST EVER). An additional complication was that five southeastern counties near Cincinnati and Louisville unofficially observed DST to keep in sync with those cities. More than a little confusing.


In April 2005, Indiana legislators passed a law that implemented Daylight Saving Time statewide beginning on April 2, 2006. However, since we have a tradition of being the most time confused state in the union, 7 northwestern counties and 11 southern counties have opted for Central DST time while the remainder of the state goes for Eastern DST. I heard a man call in to the radio station last week and say he lived in a county where they were petitioning to be allowed to stay on standard time (apparently the county has a lot of dairy farmers and the cows don't like daylight saving time.....I had no idea cows even cared what time it is) He was concerned because he lived in a Central DST county, but his dentist was in an Eastern DST county and with all the controversy about his county denoucing DST he wasn't sure WHAT time to show up....I thought he was going to break down and cry.

Isn't it funny how we manipulate the clock...(like you can get more hours in a day or something, sheeesh!)....I'm all for getting off work an hour earlier and only working 4 days a week -- we'd have lots more time to enjoy the sunshine then!

Your day, my day, your day, my day....

My husband, in his super-hero garb!

April 8th is an important day at our house...that's when the Supreme Bean (the name given him 13 years ago by his daughters) turns 45! Yup, HH is having a birthday. Since he's one of my 3 fans I'll dedicate this blog to him and maybe he'll read it on his Birthday!

If so, Happy Birthday Handsome! I love you gobs!

Okay, I guess a fitting tribute to a 45 year old would be something along the lines of listing all, I mean some of (gosh we don't want this to be a book!) his good qualities so he can read them and feel as good as he did when he was young! ......Not that you're not young any longer honey! : ).....

• Well, it goes without saying that he's a good provider....he's out working right now while I'm sitting at home in the recliner writing a blog!
• He's really romantic....not when he's working.............I mean in general he's romantic. That was on the top of my shopping list when I went looking for a husband (you're right I have no shame) and all the candidates before him flunked the big test. He was so good he didn't even know he was taking "the big test" it was just his way to always try to make me feel special.
• He can still jump tall buildings in a single bound..........okay,maybe that's a slight exaggeration ......but he really can do almost anything, even I'm amazed at his talents. He can build anything (even a whole log home for his family to live in!), he can fix cars (and major appliances), he's NOT addicted to sports (or anything else for that matter....nope, no addictions at all), he can fight forest fires with one hand tied behind his back and plant trees with the other! Yup, He's good!
  
  
  
• He 's NOT addicted to sports (or anything else....nope, not one single addiction!)
• He's my ultimate and consumate defender (look out mean customers who dare to mistreat me, the secretary, on the phone!)
• He's chivalrous and brave, as demonstrated in numerous rescues of said wife from the "yucky" things like life like snakes, mice (in or out of traps), wasps, and the dreaded ....gulp......miller.
• His life's work includes going to the assistance of others and he loves it --- he was there at ground zero, the space shuttle disaster, hurricane Ivan, George, Katrina, Rita (hey that sounds like the beatles kinda!) It makes me feel so good to know he cares about people.
• He's an excellent speaker and teacher.
  
  And most important of all......

When given a choice of companions he always chooses me!

So APRIL 8 is HIS day (but tomorrow we're back to it being all about ME!!)

Happy Birthday Honey! I love you!

Hi Ho Hi Ho it's off to camp I go........

That's me, the tired lady in the back row .... blue t-shirt....

My head is consumed with girls camp today and it's been hard to think about much else. Somehow last year I got talked into becoming the Ward Camp Specialist.....little did I know that wouldn't be a one time thing! I enjoy the Young Women and really, I enjoy camp. It's like a vacation, ... kind of.....at least I don't have to cook, clean or answer phones. I do, however, have to sleep rarely, sweat profusely, get bitten by bugs, and lie on the cold hard ground at night..........yeah, like I said "kind of" a vacation.

The camp we went to last year was really quite nice, platform tent cabins for the girls and .... NOT for the leaders (we slept in regular old tents but that's okay, they were clean and no mice had set up permanent residence in them). I was one of the counselors for first year girls and as any of you who have served that time know, this calling has it's own "special" rewards.

To begin with First Year is known for being noisy so they put us in the most remote part of the "resort" which we came to fondly call "outer darkness". This really had more to do with the 1/2 mile hike through dense forest from the main camp than the atmosphere. It really was a very long, very dark, walk from the dining hall to lst year cabins. We figured we walked no less than 6 miles a day and that was ONLY if no one left some necessary item back at camp that we needed to go get. The rule for lst years is that they always have to travel in twos and preferably WITH a leader, this required me to make many a trip back and forth in my role as "leader/chaperone/protector from all things scary in the dark" (and I had to do it all without the aid of super powers or cape).

There were the usual problems, girls who were homesick, girls who were annoying to cabinmates, girls who were shy, girls who were not, girls who refused to shower, girls who had to shower twice a day as well as do their hair and makeup every day, girls who were allergic to morning, girls who went to bed when it was still light and complained because everyone was too loud....you know the usual.

Our little lst year camp received the award for "most dramatic evening in an outdoor setting" the night the wolves attacked. We had all gone to the main campfire for a wonderfully spiritual experience when one of the girls asked me if she could leave and go to the bathroom....I asked her to stay till we were done but....it was an eeeeemergenceeeee!....so I gave her and her "buddy" permission to go to the bathroom.

They didn't return in a reasonable length of time so I sent one of the YCL's to look for them, she returned and said they weren't at the bathrooms but that someone told her that they went back to lst year. I really found that improbable since, at any other time, they whined about walking that far and we hadn't even had evening snacks yet but I left anyway and went to look for them.

I hadn't made it 10 steps into the forest before I met another girl running toward me crying and saying the "two" were at lst year camp, hysterical.....because they'd been growled at by wolves. Now, I've never revealed what state I live in because of the whole "internet safety" thing but you'll have to take my word for it....we don't have wolves here.....we don't have any large predators here unless you count people.

When I arrived sure enough they were huddled on a bed in one of the tent cabins crying their eyes out and completely hysterical. To make a VERY long story short(er), they decided to walk back to lst year alone, in the dark, no flashlights, instead of returning to the main campfire because....... they were bored. It appeared they had found a solution to boredom......abject terror.

I'm still not sure what happened, their explanations included things like "We heard growling and bone crunching and blood spurting noises" (I'm not sure how they know what spurting blood sounds like but oh well.....) So we pretty much determined that anything they told us was not going to help in the least. A few days later we did see a couple of the neighbor dogs running around chasing critters in the woods so perhaps they did hear some growling......I'm not sure about the "other" noises.

At any rate, this year I'm with 3rd year girls and instead of 28 of them I'll have 10.....I'm hoping they've worked out their night terrors and we'll get, if not a decent night's sleep, at least a decent night's fun.

Tomorrow I'll be at a meeting with my co-counselor so I probably won't be posting much, if at all....(well, since I'm addicted to this particular form of catharsis perhaps I'll post very late! : ) )

Wish me luck and send me all your good ideas for fun camp pranks!

Dental stories....

Okay first Nutella wrote about it, then Jessica wrote about it, and I'm sure I've missed some others along the way. It's obvious that the "dental experience" conjures up a wide range of emotions....none of which seem any too happy. Daughter #3 is determined to become, gulp, a dentist and I, well, I worry that she won't have friends. (She says she doesn't care, she'll be rich!)



Regarding dentists, dental hygiene and the like..... I'm coming out of the closet, right here, right now, in front of millions of people. I'm going to take the first step and admit my fears.........wait a minute the phone is ringing.....it might be important, ......nope it wasn't, now where was I? Oh yeah, coming out of the closet.....deep breath.........okay, here goes



1. I have flossophobia. I know, I know you should floss daily to prevent heart disease (wierd but true connection there) and I DO try to floss daily. My problem is I cannot, will not, and don't think I can ever....floss publicly. My husband doesn't even know about this little phobia (come to think of it he probably does NOW!). I've had it for years.

I try to do my flossing when he's either on the phone, or in the middle of a late night show, sometime when I can safely complete the "task at hand". I floss only behind closed doors, and with the faucet running. I just can't floss if anyone is within earshot, let alone EYEshot! There's something about tugging bits of the day's food from between your teeth and flinging it around the room that I find more than disgusting. It's gotten so bad over the years that I'm now obsessive about cleaning the mirror, sink, vanity and faucets after I floss because I'm afraid I've left traces! (Oh come on, don't you ever wonder what those tiny little specks are on the mirror when you go to someone's house......I'm SORRY....I can't help it!)

2. My second favorite dental ritual is complicated by the gag reflex. When I was 15 or so I heard that to have really good breath you should always brush the back of your tongue.....yup, the VERY back.....(and at 15 you're REALLY concerned about, you know, breath and stuff) .....have you ever TRIED THAT!!!??? Brushing the back of your tongue? Let me tell you it takes concentration and self-control beyond any I've yet developed. I succeed in actually doing it about once out of every 10 times I try the other 9 times I end up gagging and swallowing a bunch of toothpaste (which for some odd reason, according to the instructions on the tube is "not intended for internal use").

Okay now I've confessed my private phobias and can move on to the matter at hand....the dentist. In spite of my "problems" I visit the dentist regularly and get gold stars for good dental hygiene. (My closet flossing must work as well as the public exhibitionist kind.) However, there have been times when my least favorite " man in white" had to bring out the "tools" (just thinking about it makes me break out in a cold sweat).

When I was pregnant with Daughter #3 I broke a tooth (chewing on ice.....who knew it could be so hard!). The tooth was broken right down the center from crown to root. It hurt terribly and I was grateful Mr. Dentist got me right in.... but had to refer me to a dental surgeon who couldn't see me till the next morning.

After a very uncomfortable night I met Mr. Surgeon (who wasn't wearing white, he was wearing khaki pants and a polo shirt and looked like he was about to go golfing, I couldn't help feeling like I'd just ruined his morning). The only thing that could be done, he said, was "extract" it (a fancy word for yanking out a healthy tooth with very long roots still firmly attached to jawbone). Since I was pregnant there wasn't any question of being able to have "happy gas" so I was put under the knife (or in this case something more like a HUGE set of pliers) with nothing more than a shot of novocaine.

All I could think of as the surgeon and his team got ready, was the movie Marathon Man (have you seen it?.....take my advice and DON'T ..... if ever plan on going to the dentist again).

Anyway, there were four people in that room....the surgeon with his "pliers:, an assistant whom I could only assume was going to hand him the blood sucker and water squirter thing when required, and another kind of well..... kind of "burly" girl that looked a little like an old sailor from my vantage point (laying just under her chin and looking up into her nose). I had no idea what she was there for until the surgeon said "Ready?" and she grabbed my forehead with one hand as the assistant velcroed my arms to the chair and the surgeon actually put one knee up on my shoulder!!! (NO KIDDING!) He took a little hammer and chisel, hit my tooth twice (HARD), and in a flash took up the pliers. I tell you he grabbed that tooth and gave a yank that could have torn Thomas Jefferson from Mt. Rushmore.......someone screamed (I guess it could have been me...) and the next thing I know they're stuffing 4 yards of gauze into the gaping hole in my head and saying things like "Well, that came out fairly easily didn't it?" THEY HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!

I've since given up chewing ice, oh and by the way, I know a few interesting floss stories if you'd care to hear them,......you would? Okay then.....

• An inmate escaped from a West Virginia prison by braiding a 20-foot long rope out of dental floss and using it to scale the prison's 18-foot wall. He was later captured and sentenced to 30 years in jail--five of them for tossing the floss over the wall to escape. Afterwards, prison officials permanently banned the sale of dental floss at the prison store. As a result of this case, the state of Maine prohibited inmates from possessing dental floss. An inmate at a Maine prison then sued the state, seeking compensation for "discrimination and resulting stress and anxiety over the inability to fight tooth decay."
• Some prisons do not allow inmates to have dental floss for another reason--it can be used to cut through steel bars. Says one prison official, "I couldn't believe it until I did it myself."
• A quick-thinking nurse used dental floss to save her boyfriend from bleeding to death after a shark attack in the Bahamas. A shark shredded the man's arm while he was spear fishing on a boat. His girlfriend used dental floss to tie off an artery in his arm. "He was able to survive this tragic incident due to the fact his companion was able to stop the bleeding," a hospital spokesman said. "She gave him the opportunity to live."
• An author wrote an article for a wildlife journal entitled, "An Alternative Means of Descenting Skunks." Instead of cutting off the scent glands when doing experiments on live skunks, he came up with a more humane way to do it--(you guessed it--temporarily tying up the scent glands with dental floss.
• "Crypt of Civilization" in Atlanta. The Crypt is a time capsule that was created in the 1930's to "condense knowledge accumulated during the previous 6000 years and seal it until May 28, 8113." A partial list of contents includes: a reproduction of a painting of roses, an electric "Toastolator," a piece of aluminum foil, a badminton set, a plastic beetle, a Donald Duck toy, a quart of beer, and, of course--a package of dental floss.

---special thanks to ironfrog.com for these facts soon to be released in their documentary.....

"FLOSS! A Meditation on the Possibility of Change", no I am NOT kidding!

"Post" script (aka P.S.)

HH is out right not doing some Home Teaching business and I have a few minutes soooooo I thought I'd hurry up here and clarify a few things.

First of all, my post of earlier today regarding shopping less has FINALLY elicited a comment from Daughter #2! (who I know has been "lurking" and not commenting for some time now)....I had a feeling that one might get someone's attention! (Don't worry honey, I'll still buy you birthday presents!)

Second, I really feel I have to explain that although I may love to shop, I do not love to spend! This is the only thing that keeps me from being a true shopaholic.

I love to get things for a "steal" and I also love window shopping. I can spend several hours on a rainy day trying on every outfit in a multitude of stores and be quite happy walking out with none of them. For me it's the fun of seeing new things, even seeing new things on me, but rarely do I buy unless it's something I REALLY love.....and amazingly enough that doesn't happen often, shopping is entertainment, buying is another thing entirely! Although I'll admit, I do get tempted when a $35 pair of jeans shows up on the clearance rack, in my size, for $7.00!

Okay, I feel better now, I just couldn't sleep until I was sure you all knew I wasn't some kind of spendthrift! Sure love ya, and have sweet dreams!

An experiment with my nature....

On the Today show this morning I was intrigued by a group of guests who had formed a compact on the premise that none of it’s members would shop for one year. They said they had come up with the idea after discussing the fact that they all felt they had just too much "stuff". Their goal in less shopping was to ultimately reduce their impact on the planet, but in my mind I could see this going in a different direction.

What if you decided not to shop for one year and instead banked the money you saved. Every time you wanted something but decided it wasn’t necessary you would take that amount of money and put it in a savings account. I wonder how much money you would have at the end of the year.

In their compact they agreed not to spend on anything other than food and medicine. I am assuming they also included cleaning supplies and body/hair care products as acceptable items although one of the men did say they could buy shampoo but not new mousse. They had other rules like they could purchase things as long as they weren’t new (buying from second hand stores) and as long as they weren’t buying to fulfill their "need" to shop.


On the one hand this whole idea fascinates me on the other I’m terrified to try it. It is exactly this ambiguity that has me troubled. "Stuff", or the accumulation of it, has been a topic of conversation in our family (see Nutella’s post) for quite some time. While she fears being overcome by it, I’ve already come to the conclusion it’s too late for me. I’m not a big fan of clutter myself but HH’s family has, over the years, acquired and then passed on to us a tremendous amount of said "stuff".

HH's mom is an avid collector of antiques as well as a garage sale junkie. It was only in recent years that I got the courage to "just say NO" and explain there was no more room at the inn. Most things are easily gotten rid of but we find ourselves with a plethora of family heirlooms....chief among them being antiques, which cannot be disposed of without creating a family rift of gargantuan proportions.

SO....it seems that acquiring any more "stuff" would be pointless and quite possibly painful. I believe my main weakness lies in the area of "shopping for pleasure" . I enjoy buying things for my children who live away from home, I like to buy new clothes both for myself and Daughter #3, especially when I find tremendous bargains. I love to buy plants, flowers, and candles. Could I give this up for one year? Heck, could I give it up for a month? If the answer is no then I feel like I should get myself to the nearest shopaholics anonymous.

Somewhere inside my head a plan is forming....I’d like to try this experiment. I’d be interested to see how much money I could save....BUT, there’s that little voice in the back of my head saying...

"You’re never going to be able to do it." ,

"The girls will be disappointed when you stop sending "stuff",

"How will you feel when someone else buys all the "stuff" and there’s none left for you cause you missed all the sales, hmmm?"

Okay, enough, I’m going to try this....I give myself three months (not absolutely necessary to go the whole year is it?)....and to make it easy on myself, I’m going to be lenient....instead of saying NO shopping, I’m going to go the route of ....save whatever you would have spent on that "stuff" and see how much you can accumulate in three months time.

Here goes nothing, I’m starting tomorrow!

(Well,..... I still have my birthday money to spend, sheesh!)

Take this Quiz: Are you a compulsive shopper?
True or False? Evaluate the following statements:
1. When I am feeling depressed, I usually go shopping.
2. I spend a lot of money that I do not have on things that I do not need.
3. I get a rush when I make a purchase, but I “crash” soon afterwards.
4. I have closets full of clothes that I have never worn, and countless gadgets that I have never used.
5. I often feel reckless and out of control when I shop.
6. I lie to my friends and family about how much money I spend.
7. Even though I feel very distraught about my debt, I still shop.
8. I feel emotionally upset and disturbed by my own shopping habits.
9. After a big shopping trip, I sometimes feel disoriented and depressed.
10. My shopping has caused problems in my personal relationships in one way or another.

Did you answer “True” for four or more of the above statements? If so, it is possible that you have a real problem with compulsive shopping, if so you're in good company....

Famous shopaholics in history include Marie Antoinette, Mary Todd Lincoln, William Randolph Hearst, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Imelda Marcos and Princess Diana. Their addictions ranged from clothing (Jackie O, Diana) to art and antiques (Hearst) to shoes (the heralded Marcos collection) to gloves (Mrs. Lincoln owned 84 pairs of them).