Oh gosh I had the worst experience of my life....well maybe the worst of my day....it went something like this:
After a long and busy day I decided to double-task (I'm not quite up to multi-task level yet) and brush my teeth while checking my e-mail before bed. I have one of those high tech electric toothbrushes (the dentist talked me into it) ......anyway I was reading and brushing and after the 2 minute cycle was up the toothbrush shut off but I wasn't done reading so I restarted it (I guess so I'd have something to do while reading (wierd).
Anyway a few seconds later, I got up, went into the bathroom to rinse and spit, and the toothbrush wouldn't shut off. The problem being that you can't take it out of your mouth until it stops or it will fling toothpaste hither and yon (trust me, I know!). I kept pushing the button, pushing the button, it just wouldn't go off (I had visions of brushing my teeth to smooth little stubs).
About the time I was ready to give in to the urge to swear I noticed that the button I was pushing wasn't the button.............it was the light switch!!!! I KNOW!!!! HOW can a person confuse a switch on the wall with a button on a toothbrush.........I have no idea!!! My synapses are obviously hopelessly tangled......
The really wierd thing is it didn't even register that the light was going off an on....this is SO terribly SAD!!!!
Enough laughing at me.....check out this lady's predicament (and thanks to The Pink Factor for providing comic relief) At least my embarrassment was entirely my own....not a witness in sight!
Sure love ya!
Friday, August 31, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
MY SHIP HAS COME IN!!!!!
Well, I must say, it’s been a pretty productive day so far. I probably shouldn’t be telling you (my two fans) this (I know I can count on you to keep my secret)...... today I’ll become a millionaire....perhaps with careful investment even a billionaire! Yes, today my ship, so to speak, came in.
I opened my e-mail and Mr. Frank Otto a VERY senior employee of the Department of Mineral and Energy Resources of South Africa( SOUTH AFRICA....Everyone knows about South Africa....ask Ms. South Carolina!) , wrote to ask my help in redeeming an investment interest. Apparently his client.....is currently missing, so very sad really. He has a sizeable sum of money coming to him and since they have been unable to locate him (despite their repeated extensive attempts) to send the vast amount of cash and other holdings to which he is entitled, they have contacted me..... Amazing though it may seem, we have the same last name and they presume we are, therefore, the "next of kin" to Mr. Nelson insert applicable surname here".
In addition I have also been notified that I have access to many important drugs to enhance my sex life " at such a reduced price I would have to be stupid to pass up this important opportunity" after all "once the women at work find out I’m taking this drug they will all be HOT for me" (.....actually since I’m a girl I’m not sure why I want other women HOT for me but the e-mails promise me joy and happiness if I order in the next 24 hours).
As if all this happy news weren’t enough, I received a "blessing’ from one Raj Darfur (no kidding) who promised me health, wealth, and never ending happiness (I mean NEVER ENDING!!!!) if I would pass along the e-mail address of 23 of my dearest friends (no matter how tempted I am I must not send more....these blessings are only for me and my very closest friends and nothing to trifle with) .......of course each of them will have the opportunity to receive the same "blessing"
Hmmmmm.....one simply must wonder if part of the blessing includes numerous e-mails from total strangers with opportunities to sit at home doing nothing...."Working each day in your robe and slippers" and earning money beyond your wildest dreams! Did you KNOW George and Jenny Partridge used to worry about how to pay their light bill but now they have three homes, a private jet, and invitations to have cocktails with the rich and famous!
I do hope your day is filled with as much good fortune as mine.
Many Blessings to You!!!!
(Keep checking your e-mail, maybe today is YOUR day!)
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Public Outrage Ensues (at least at my house)...
Yesterday I was all about positive today, well....I'm sure I'm sending out some angry vibes. Where do I begin...
First of all Daughter #3 can't take driver's education at school any more....the school cut the funding for this "non-essential" program. Now she will be taking the class at a private driving academy 20 miles away. Oh, and have I mentioned (Yeah, I have.... "For the Love of a Sport" ) that her High School has decided they can't possibly fund a sport like ..........soccer, because they already have sports like....football. (UH......they're completely different!)
Then today we hear from one of D3's friends (a cheerleader) that because the school principle
finds the cheer squad lacks uniformity, the school will be hiring a professional stylist to come to the school early on Fridays (game day) to do the hair and makeup of the cheerleaders....all 13 of them!!! AAAAAANNNNNNDDDDD the school will be renting 2 (that's TWO) black convertibles to drive the girls around the track and onto the field at home games. You have GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!
Okay, Now I'm really going to have to find the duct tape, my head is going to explode!!!!
First of all Daughter #3 can't take driver's education at school any more....the school cut the funding for this "non-essential" program. Now she will be taking the class at a private driving academy 20 miles away. Oh, and have I mentioned (Yeah, I have.... "For the Love of a Sport" ) that her High School has decided they can't possibly fund a sport like ..........soccer, because they already have sports like....football. (UH......they're completely different!)
Then today we hear from one of D3's friends (a cheerleader) that because the school principle
finds the cheer squad lacks uniformity, the school will be hiring a professional stylist to come to the school early on Fridays (game day) to do the hair and makeup of the cheerleaders....all 13 of them!!! AAAAAANNNNNNDDDDD the school will be renting 2 (that's TWO) black convertibles to drive the girls around the track and onto the field at home games. You have GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!Okay, Now I'm really going to have to find the duct tape, my head is going to explode!!!!
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Law of Attraction 102
I have XM radio in my car.... (aka my home away from home). Frequently I listen to the "Oprah and Friends" channel. My favorites are Dr. Oz and Bob Greene but I listen to others occasionally. All summer long Oprah has had "The Summer Soul Series" as her show. She interviews authors, ministers, spiritualists etc. Most of it is just a little bit "out there" for me but sometimes I think it's interesting how closely their theories parallel what I've experienced in my life.
This week she's been featuring "The Law of Attraction" which in simple terms has something to do with your vibrations creating like vibrations around you i.e. if you're in a bad mood pretty soon everyone around you will be too, either because you cause them to be, or because only other people in a bad mood want to share your space : ) The way they explain it is too "other-worldly" for me but I guess I've noticed in my life that sometimes things do appear to fall into this pattern.
For instance Oprah said that when she journals she used to spend every day outlining all the problems and disappointments of her day but then she intereviewed a guest on her show that said if she just made one change and instead of writing negative things she wrote what she was grateful for her life would change for the better. She now makes it a point every night to write a list of 5 things she was grateful for during that particular day.
I've tried this myself, in many different ways....one of them was just like Oprah, always expressing gratitude each day for the blessings in my life.....I don't always write them down but I sure do express them....to the person to whom I owe that gratitude....my Heavenly Father/. It has made me realize how much I have. Because of that I believe I've become happier and more content. Where I used to worry about lack of money, lack of friends, lack of recognition, lack of fulfillment I find I hardly ever have those feelings anymore because I really do feel I live a life of abundance.
Positive thinking/speaking proved to be extremely powerful in my life when my first husband and I divorced. Because I had a very young daughter in my home I didn't want her to ever hear me speaking negatively about her daddy. I tried to remain positive about his love for her and his many good qualities and leave whatever personal complaints I had unspoken.
I'm sure I wasn't always perfect at it but I have observed over the course of the last 30 years or so that most of the people I associate with who are divorced spend so much time complaining about their ex, or reliving their disappointments, or re-telling all the details of the hurts and pain inflicted that they NEVER regain any measure of happiness in their lives. In several of those cases, when they remarried, that marriage failed too. I don't know if that is law of attraction but it does seem to bear out the theory that whatever you give your focus to is going to inevitably grow and become bigger.
In keeping with THAT idea I vow from this day forward to quit talking about my big butt and flabby thighs! (I certainly don't need my focusing on them makin' them any darn bigger!)
Sending good vibrations your way!
This week she's been featuring "The Law of Attraction" which in simple terms has something to do with your vibrations creating like vibrations around you i.e. if you're in a bad mood pretty soon everyone around you will be too, either because you cause them to be, or because only other people in a bad mood want to share your space : ) The way they explain it is too "other-worldly" for me but I guess I've noticed in my life that sometimes things do appear to fall into this pattern.
For instance Oprah said that when she journals she used to spend every day outlining all the problems and disappointments of her day but then she intereviewed a guest on her show that said if she just made one change and instead of writing negative things she wrote what she was grateful for her life would change for the better. She now makes it a point every night to write a list of 5 things she was grateful for during that particular day.
I've tried this myself, in many different ways....one of them was just like Oprah, always expressing gratitude each day for the blessings in my life.....I don't always write them down but I sure do express them....to the person to whom I owe that gratitude....my Heavenly Father/. It has made me realize how much I have. Because of that I believe I've become happier and more content. Where I used to worry about lack of money, lack of friends, lack of recognition, lack of fulfillment I find I hardly ever have those feelings anymore because I really do feel I live a life of abundance.
Positive thinking/speaking proved to be extremely powerful in my life when my first husband and I divorced. Because I had a very young daughter in my home I didn't want her to ever hear me speaking negatively about her daddy. I tried to remain positive about his love for her and his many good qualities and leave whatever personal complaints I had unspoken.
I'm sure I wasn't always perfect at it but I have observed over the course of the last 30 years or so that most of the people I associate with who are divorced spend so much time complaining about their ex, or reliving their disappointments, or re-telling all the details of the hurts and pain inflicted that they NEVER regain any measure of happiness in their lives. In several of those cases, when they remarried, that marriage failed too. I don't know if that is law of attraction but it does seem to bear out the theory that whatever you give your focus to is going to inevitably grow and become bigger.
In keeping with THAT idea I vow from this day forward to quit talking about my big butt and flabby thighs! (I certainly don't need my focusing on them makin' them any darn bigger!)
Sending good vibrations your way!
Monday, August 20, 2007
Pillow Talk
Funny that I wrote this blog last week and never posted it. This morning Nutella re-opened her blog and reminded me I had actually written something….might as well keep up with her (she’s so often my inspiration to do things…..read, blog, cry….).
One of the few pleasures (among the weeks of boredom) that comes with a summer of HH being gone on fires is that I get to relive the joys of sleepovers…..EVERY night!!! No I don’t invite all my “over 50” girlfriends to bring their jammies to my house. I just have one special friend…..my youngest daughter. She has made it her personal mission to keep me from being lonely (or getting any sleep before midnight) while her daddy’s gone. She sleeps with me.....each and every night..….let me tell you a queen sized bed is not NEARLY big enough to share with a 14 year old!
It amazes me that once we turn out the lights….or rather once I turn out the lights (she refuses to get up once her side of the bed is warm), she thinks of a million conversations we should have. There’s lots of laughing, cover snatching and “middle of the bed line-wars). As sleep deprived as I am, I enjoy this time immensely and I’m trying to store up these memories for the day when she goes off to college and I’m REALLY alone!
A couple of nights ago she was pretty entertained by the terms I used when I was a teenager:
One of the few pleasures (among the weeks of boredom) that comes with a summer of HH being gone on fires is that I get to relive the joys of sleepovers…..EVERY night!!! No I don’t invite all my “over 50” girlfriends to bring their jammies to my house. I just have one special friend…..my youngest daughter. She has made it her personal mission to keep me from being lonely (or getting any sleep before midnight) while her daddy’s gone. She sleeps with me.....each and every night..….let me tell you a queen sized bed is not NEARLY big enough to share with a 14 year old!
It amazes me that once we turn out the lights….or rather once I turn out the lights (she refuses to get up once her side of the bed is warm), she thinks of a million conversations we should have. There’s lots of laughing, cover snatching and “middle of the bed line-wars). As sleep deprived as I am, I enjoy this time immensely and I’m trying to store up these memories for the day when she goes off to college and I’m REALLY alone!
A couple of nights ago she was pretty entertained by the terms I used when I was a teenager:
-Cool: Obviously still in use and much the same meaning.
-Groovy: Yup we really did say that!
-Bush: Nothing to do with a President….just something we used to describe the “interesting” things in life i.e. “Wow, that dress is so bush!” Go Figure….
-Neat: Also still in use but mostly by tweens.
-Far Out: As in “Man, your room is so far out!”
-Tuff: Back then we didn’t have “Hot” guys, we had Tuff ones!
-Fuzz: Weird but we called policemen “the fuzz”….
-Oh guy: I don’t know why but this is what we said instead of “Oh gosh”
-Melvin: What we called the “dorks” "He's such a Melvin!"
-Boss: Wow he is so boss! (just another word for “Hot”)
Her conclusion? Mom, you were so totally retarded! (as in Mom, you are NOT Far Out!)
And this? My dream Hairstyle when I was in High School.....Boss, huh!!!
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